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How to Be a Footballer

 

'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times 'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year****Shortlisted for the National Book Awards****Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you?re suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what .

 

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